Tag: life

When did we grow up?

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That's me. Inside my mom's belly. When she was 25, one year younger than I am now and completely normal. (I love you mommy)

That’s me. Inside my mom’s belly. When she was 25, one year younger than I am now.          Totally normal, right? (Hi mom, I love you!)

Between the babies and the engagements… how did we get here?

In last’s week’s hunt for a nice #TBT picture that will make me happy, yet will not make any of my friends or family members die of embarrassment, I found myself going down an intense walk down memory lane.

What were we thinking in High School?

First of all, how I sat for basically 6 hours listening to new information and thinking is now beyond me. I can hardly go by 1 hour without checking my phone or reading a random news article (and by news, I mean Twitter).

I started thinking of all the awesome things I did during my school years in Puerto Rico and realized that there were a few memories that I had forgotten about.

Are we hitting that age?

I was thinking of this girl I was friends with during a summer in Girl Scouts camp, we got pretty close and now I can’t even remember her name. I actually can safely say I hadn’t thought about that summer camp in years.

We are now looking at life in years, not months or even weeks. Everything seemed to happen slower before, maybe because we had different mindsets or maybe because each year was more distinct and easier to tell apart from another, because obviously you are a totally different person going into 10th grade from 9th grade.

Now, we’re looking into friends we have not seen in years, and it’s ok because that’s apparently how life is. Everything is merging now, time is blurry and quite tricky. I’ve been working in Manhattan for two years now and although some may say two years is nothing, I struggle some times to pin point when certain things happened.

I guess it’s downhill from now, or uphill, up to you.

How did people keep track of life before Facebook?

Guess no Facebook meant more interesting High School reunions, where no one had to pretend to be impressed by your life situation because they had already stalked you extensively the week before.

So, are we… grown-ups?

I sure don’t feel like one sometimes (and by sometimes, I basically mean I never do). I guess we are always growing up, whether you think of it as becoming more mature or in all reality, aging.

Seriously though, am I an adult?

46 Days Without Facebook

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It felt like a tragedy when I made the decision to give up Facebook for lent. I thought I was crazy and there was no way I could do it.

This Easter morning when I logged back in all excited for my return, I went into my account, took a quick look around and thought to myself: “That’s it?”

First, the number of notifications waiting for me was quite sad. (Except for my dear girls who loyally kept me on their inbox chains and left a couple of hundred entertaining messages to catch up on).

Then I thought, “I did it? I truly went on with my lent sacrifice?”

You know what, it was not as hard as I thought. Yes, it was hard to find #TBT pictures with my limited iphone content, yes I forgot birthdays that I am not proud of, but overall, I was still a part of this world and things still happened in my life. There were a few sad news which I received with delays, but I was still connected with the people I love.

If you are thinking I had an awakening and have now decided to give up Facebook forever, you are greatly mistaken, relax.

The thing about Facebook versus Instagram, I realized, is that Instagram is full of more positive content, overall. Facebook gives you that status space to easily and quickly write whatever you please. Someone gave you an attitude today? You can just type that up, nice and easy. It is so easy to find a Facebook feed infested with negative comments and things that bring you down. Whereas a negative Instragram feed takes more work, you actually need some kind of visual proof. I had never thought about it that way until this morning as I waited to log back on Facebook.

I’m obviously back and running, I will try to upload some pictures eventually and all those routine tasks, but I’m actually glad I went through with these 46 days (yeah, there are actually more than 40 days in Lent).

Hello, my name is Cristina Nogueras and I went 46 days without Facebook and the world still went on. (Shocking, I know).

Happy Easter!

 

 

Pretend

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I write to make sense of the nonsense in this planet
Dreams chatter every day
We learn to play the game
Smile when we have to
Take what needs to be taken
Maybe we’re all fooling ourselves
Lost in a sea of pretending not to pretend with endless empty laughter
Screaming inside
Planning and planning, with no set date to fly
Maybe we are not, maybe we know
We choose to play the game,
To keep going and beat the drain
Maybe we know when we’re set to sail,
Just let the breeze prevail…

I don’t know how to forgive. Forgive, but don’t forget?

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If you look at it from a physical perspective, letting go is quite easy. Holding on to a cup? Release, let it go and it will drop away from you. If only emotions were just as easily to let go of.

I have never really believed on the whole “forgive and forget” idea. It does not make sense to me. You do not need to forget to forgive, if you forget then it’s like you did not forgive at all. I believe that in order to forgive, you need to fully acknowledge what happened and be fully aware of what it meant in your life and then you make the decision to let it go. You forgive because either it does not hurt anymore or you’ve decided that there is something more important than the pain.

I’m not an expert at forgiving. It takes time for me to let go of the pain. It’s not my choice to hold on, believe me, I do not like to carry it around and remind myself about the pain of the past. Forgiving sounds selfless, but it’s really selfish. You forgive so you stop feeling hurt, you forgive to let go of the pain and find inner peace.

Maybe I have it all wrong, maybe that’s why it’s so hard for me to forgive. Maybe I do not even know how to do it.

An Unexpected Valentine’s Day

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Surprise bouquet at the office, delicious candlelit dinner at the fanciest restaurant with the finest bottle of wine and a night out dancing and strolling by the water…

That was not my Valentine’s Day.

I have been sick for the past week, but don’t worry I will not bore you (or disgust you) with the details.

Somehow, I was still able to have a pretty damn sweet Valentine’s Day. Boyfriend brought me flowers and some grape juice, which I enjoyed in a fancy wine glass while I ate a dairy-free and fairly unseasoned pasta on my freezing kitchen. I could not eat chocolates or any other sweets for that matter and all the dancing I did was from the kitchen to the sofa, where I killed that grape juice while we watched nothing else but the Valentine’s Day movie (permission to gag).

Yes, I was upset about the food choice and evident lack of wine and cheese. Yes, I wish we could have done the long weekend road trip we originally planned, but you know what?

Sh*t happens and you still are able to smile. I wasn’t able to stuff my face with complicated dishes, fancy cheese and gulps of wine? Eh, I saved the calories?

In all seriousness, I’m grateful I could even eat. I also had love, which is kind of the point of this so-called Holiday, so why was I complaining? Oh yeah, because I am obsessed with cheese.

Looking for Alaska

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I love reading things that move me. Wether it is an article that makes me angry, a poem that makes me smile or in this case, a book that makes me cry and smile at the same time. Looking for Alaska is not my first read from John Green, his book The Fault In Our Stars left me weeping a few months ago.

After finishing Looking for Alaska, I felt refreshed. Like if I had understood a little bit of what we all go through in life and how terrible things can happen but that doesn’t make life stop. There’s something refreshing about cold hard truths that can become positive thoughts, a sort of freedom from knowing life is not all sweet and perfect but that it’s ok.

Here are my amateur designs sharing my favorite quotes from the book.

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Wanderlust problems and other itchy feet musings

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Once upon a time, I was blessed to call France my home. I would ride a bike to school, have lunch by the river, come home to a dog and a warm family and drink good, cheap wine with new wonderful friends.

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The thing about wonderful times is that they end, and as sad or exaggerated as it sounds, you never get them back. There’s something so bittersweet about it that I can’t help but smile. Sure, I could technically book a flight to France next week (I do have a credit card) but in reality it can never be the same. People and places change, but most importantly, you change as well.

That’s why we need to keep creating adventures, so you don’t miss the old ones that much. You will never get your old times back, but that is what makes them magical and timeless, the rarity and exclusivity of things that are gone.

It sure didn’t feel magical when I was stuck in my desk studying for a final exam, sad because I had ran out of money and my camera had broken. It sure was not exciting when I had to eat ham and cheese sandwiches for a week because I spent way too much money on my week at Spain, but once you leave and look back, it all sounds ironically perfect.

Sometimes things get even better when you have to look back to enjoy them. It’s almost risky though, to look back too often, as you tend to unconsciously edit the memories, add filters and suppress the mishaps (bike falls, broken cameras, hangovers, dry lunches, too cheap wines, boring lectures, train delays and scary flights).

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Still, you know you would do it all again and in your future attempts to somehow really do it all again, you will get new, exciting adventures that will keep the cycle alive.

Humans are never satisfied and our thirst can’t be quenched that easily, so let’s drink on.

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All photos taken by Cristina Nogueras © – Do not take without permission or credit

Things that I am tired of doing & other realistic musings on the new year…

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I have a love and hate relationship with new year resolutions. On one side I think it’s good to take the time to look back on what you wished you had done and look forward to try to accomplish whatever is next on your list. I love making lists and I actually enjoy sitting down and jotting down my resolutions. On the other hand, I hate when I sound all full of cliches and end up being redundant with rolling unaccomplished resolutions that stare at me with a dubious look.

So before I post any resolutions or end of year happy thoughts, I wanted to share what I’m tired of and wish to somehow change for the new year. Come on, I know you can relate to some of these, so let’s feel guilty together and make a change.

  1. Criticizing everyone who does stupid stuff online – Sure, they look ridiculous, but why pain myself with embarrassment? It’s none of my business. It only wastes my energy. Have a good laugh and move on.

  2. Making excuses for myself – This means hitting the gym and being realistic about it. I’m not going to go every day, that just can’t happen, but if I’m paying a monthly fee that does not mean it equals a monthly visit.

  3. Saying that I’m going to hang out with someone and never coming through – This is not entirely my fault, it’s tricky for everyone. I do want to be able to make more time for people I care about. I need to stop being a “let’s do something soon” slut and start committing to concrete dates.

  4. Complaining about money – This might not stop entirely, but I figure if I have a good plan under my sleeve I won’t feel as miserable every time I need to have tomato soup for dinner.

  5. Caring about people that don’t care about me – Take it as you will, but it’s tiring. I care a lot about people and go out of my way to help people out and make sure they are happy. I’m tired of not being appreciated or at times, even acknowledged. I want to surround myself with people that care about something else besides themselves. This goes for #3 as well, why bother trying to meet up with someone who does not want to meet up with you? Not worth it.

  6. My milk going bad before I am able to finish it – Or any other food for that matter. I’m wasting money and creating false hopes of a full and yummy fridge. I can work on this, I believe in myself.

I figure if each year I leave a little bit of the bad stuff behind, I can make some progress in a few years, right? Life’s too short to carry negative stuff around, it’s like carrying your heavy suitcase through NYC public transportation.

Cheers!

City Facades

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Lost in an eternal daze, dazzled by the city lights,

Faces fly by, in this city governed by night

We claim pieces of concrete, unpolished fairy dust,

Seeking shelter on this land full of unbalanced trust

Entitlement corrupts free spirits, crushing dreams one by one

As the sun falls, our fears and walls become undone

A city of expectations, fueled by the purest form of irony

Nothing is required, but presumptions dampen any clarity

Walls guard secrets untold, keeping them safe in the clouds

Hands shaking, smiles rising, money flying, all because we’re too proud

The city of shine and sparkle, an eternal masquerade

Everyone’s invited, but not everyone can make it

You’ll need more than a mask, what are you willing to trade?

Even the shadows dance in here, will you join this masquerade?

– Cristina Nogueras ©

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Image Credits:

http://www.freehdwall.com/2013/08/new-york-city-street-night-lights-hd.html

http://musicgivesasoultotheuniverse.tumblr.com/post/69909743789