Dear Cheese, We Need to Talk

mac-and-cheese-on-fork

Dear Cheese,

You know my love for you is true, but we need to talk. All I’ve ever done is praise you and treat you with love and what do you do in return? You hurt me. You hurt me when I least expect it and it drills a Swiss cheese hole in my heart.

You know I want to be with you every waking moment. I want you in my breakfast, as my snack, with my lunch, before dinner and for dinner. You make me happy in so many ways and you’ve given me some amazing times I will cherish forever. Your versatility provides for unexpected delight in different situations. Melted, hard or spread, you’re still amazing.

But Cheese, you’ve been hurting me too much lately. I can’t fathom the idea of life without you, the mere thought is too painful to bear. Still, my love, I think we need to spend some time apart. I’m not going to say goodbye forever because that’s impossible, but I think we need to see a little less of each other for a while.

I know you mean well, how can’t you with all the cheesy love you have to offer? You bring smiles to everyone who is lucky enough to encounter you, you make boring meals so much more exciting and even on your own… you are a wonder.

We’ve both seen what you can do to me. I know you’re sorry and you don’t mean to hurt me, I still love you in spite of the pain.

This is not farewell, it’s just a “see you soon” (and in smaller amounts).

Forever yours,
Cristina

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Dear Doctors & Med Schools, I Have Something to Say

Setting: Walgreens prescription counter

I hand the technician my prescriptions and she laughs. Yup, she laughs. I ask what’s wrong.

Technician: “You’re going to have to give me a moment, I don’t know what any of these say.”

The magic is dead.

All my life I have believed this magic tale of technicians and overall medicine people having this special power to read a doctor’s handwriting. All my life I had trusted them to know what magic jelly beans I was putting into my mouth.

Lies.

What’s the point then? Why can’t doctors write clear? My theory for the secret code of the world of medicine is dead, obviously. So what’s the deal?

Thank goodness I’m not dying or anything (Although this morning when my ears and eyes were swollen I swore I was, you know, typical Thursday morning).

I would like to petition all med schools to update their curriculum with a new simple little course called: Calligraphy, the art of making letters understood by the magic jelly beans dispensers.

So yeah, here I sit at Walgreens. Waiting to be called and be given God knows what. I think I need a new nail polish… and some other five things that I surely don’t need but will purchase on my wait out.

5 Things I did NOT learn in college

It’s been a year and a half since I graduated college. Let me tell you, it was not the easiest of transitions. Doing the whole grown-up thing is not easy and every month when I have to pay my student loans I can’t help but think of all the things I did NOT learn in college. Sure, I got an awesome education, but sometimes it’s about the little things. I can keep a list going on forever, but here are a few of the things I did not learn in college.

1. Who to CC in an email – Carbon copying in an email is a hidden art (Yes, Carbon Copy is what CC stands for). It takes real skill to get it just right. When used properly, CC can become the sweetest form of passive aggressiveness you can use.

2. How to do my taxes – Seriously, I need to give away more money… why? Thank God for TurboTax. I would not have survived my first taxing season without it and would have probably ended up in jail.

3. How to manage people’s expectation of hanging out every single day – “I’m sorry, I can’t do happy hour every single day and no, I can’t hang out every single week with you either. I have other friends and honestly, we are not that close anyways.” It’s hard to stay in touch with people, even if they live in the same city than you do. There’s always a lot going on and even though you wish to meet up with people all the time, there’s just not enough time (or money). How do you manage people’s feelings and your sanity? I did not learn that in college either.

4. How to save money – Don’t let this one be confused with “how to eat frugally”, that one I got down in college pretty easily and I’m still practicing it today (thank you Campbell’s). I’m talking about straight up saving for life, like for puppies and stuff. I thank my lucky stars that I found Mint.com, keeping it real and crushing my wanderlust dreams one personal budget report at a time.

5. How to cope with 10 vacation days a year – This one is hard and honestly, I’m still working with it. Make the most of the weekends? Spread your vacations throughout the year? Print out a beach landscape for your desk? Not really sure what’s the solution for this one, suggestions welcomed.

Feel free to comment and add on more things to this list. I know college was great, but let’s face it: it’s a tough world out here.

Monday Terrors: I’m not getting any younger…

It was a Monday night. Happiness meant taking a shower with a new shower gel that was on sale at CVS, life was good. I was casually shaving my legs when I found what I’m pretty sure were little veins near the area of my knee. Yes, little veins like the kind you see in people that are old (no offense).

I FREAKED out. I had already found a strand of white hair a few weeks back, but this was twice as horrifying. Is this normal?! I started to see my life flashing by, memories of my youth slipping away from my fingers, and not just because they were soapy.

That’s it, I’m old.

To add a little more spice to this dramatic scene, I’ve been watching a show called Fringe. This TV show presents some pretty crude scientific experiments with graphic images of poisonous slugs and unnatural human reactions to chemicals and all that cute stuff. Why I keep watching this show is beyond me, but that’s the second thought that went through my mind when I saw the little veins. “I’ve been experimented on and now my body is truly reacting to it!”

After a few minutes of freaking out and talking to myself like a crazy person, I went on with my life. A few hours later, I realized the little veins were not that marked as before and it looks like it might have been a combination of hot water and my imagination. Yes, that is my medical analysis of my situation.

So there it is, life is short and we are not getting any younger. Have fun, eat yummy food and invest on your 401K.