Tag: life

Stop Chasing Butterflies

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“Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.”

– Henry David Thoreau

I don’t remember how I got it but I held on to a magnet with this quote like it was a lifesaver during my teenage years when I was convinced I would never find love. A hopeless romantic drowned in Nicholas Sparks books, I fantasized about my future love life like it was a movie waiting to be filmed. Looking back, I wish I could tell my young self that love is not always like it’s depicted in the books, a lot of times it can be so much more beautiful and raw, lighting us up in incredible ways. Still, I did not know that back then so I clutched my magnet and tried not to chase the butterfly too hard.

Fast forward over a decade later, and I am struck again by this quote but from a totally new perspective. My entire life I’ve been told to chase the career butterfly, so much that it’s been a subconscious effort most of the time. Work hard, keep climbing, don’t settle, go, go, go. It has just recently dawned on me (thanks to some great people in my life) that this aspect of my life is also a butterfly. That’s not to say that a dream job will “come and sit softly on my shoulder” if I turn my attention to playing Nintendo Switch instead (it doesn’t hurt to try though) but more like, what can life bring you towards when you are guided by curiosity and joy? 

As someone who has always been obsessing about finding your passion and has had to endure a few hits during her career, this idea almost goes against everything my brain has been conditioned to follow in life. Even as I write these words, I struggle to understand what this butterfly means to me and what “turning your attention to other things” looks like in reality. My words are not answers, at least they don’t feel that way to me yet, but maybe they can help drive awareness to your chase and make you question (in the best way possible) your own butterflies. 

–

I wrote the above about three months ago and while I still don’t have all the answers I am happy to report that life is full of little butterflies. Some you can only notice when you take a moment to really look for them, others are only able to catch you when you purposefully slow down your life. All are beautiful and worth admiring. May wonderful things come rest softly on your shoulder in this season of life. 🙂

-Cristina

Photo by Lana Kravchenko: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-yellow-and-brown-butterfly-on-purple-flower-12889060/

My words on grief and losing someone you love

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I don’t usually write about heavy topics here (or publicly). Still, I share these words from the heart as I process the recent loss of my grandmother. It’s part of my process, but maybe it can be part of someone else’s process too. 

Even though we have given grief a definition and thrown the word in with all the rest, grief shows up differently for everyone. It’s like a shadow that takes many forms, hides, and reappears as it pleases. 

When we lose someone we love, we are hit with a new, harsh reality that our loved one as we knew him/her no longer exists. In my case, my head got stuck on the thought of no more possibilities. Before there was always a reunion to look forward to, memories to be made, stories to be told… all possibilities. Death throws in a period and leaves us with the stale taste of finite. All of the memories we had instantly quadruple in value as the source is no longer producing. Everything feels fragile, and you immediately need more, and it tears you apart to know that’s not possible.

No matter how we see it, death is extremely difficult (impossible?) to grasp. I still mourn my grandfather’s death, and I remember being devastated when he passed when I was 14. When I think of him, I wish he could see who I grew up to be and how much of him I see in me. 

Now, with Abuela, it is entirely different. I am thankful I had her for as long as I did, but with that time also comes the strengthening of a bond that now feels ripped away from the very center of my soul. The years were a blessing that allowed me to see her in a way I couldn’t have seen my grandpa at 14. We got to share life thoughts and worries together, like two adults. I am beyond thankful for this, but it hurts in a way I couldn’t have anticipated. 

Even with all this time, how can it still feel like it wasn’t enough? Is there ever enough time? I smile amidst my tears as I imagine her rolling into heaven, updating my grandpa and uncle on the latest of who we became. Although, I know they know. 

How little of death do we comprehend and how many things we invent and hold on to in a human attempt to ease a pain that has no known eraser. I’ve been told to sit with my pain, greet it and embrace it for a moment. I say hello to it with a hint of honor, as I know I feel it because I was blessed with so much love and joy. How can I hate a feeling that’s a result of the very purpose of our living? 

We humans can be so magnificent yet such limited creatures. 

Still, we find ways to satisfy our thirst for comfort and reassurance, even if ever so fleetingly. Yesterday, it was the sound of her voice. Tomorrow it will be a Cardinal chirping hello in my window. Today, it is these words poured from the soul as I remain thinking of you.

It’s Ok.

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It’s been a very long time since I share my poetry here, but this one came to me recently and I think it’s a very important reminder for everyone in this world of constant hustle. Vulnerability and perseverance are wonderful, complicated things – hope you enjoy this little piece of mine.

Switzerland Cristina Nogueras Suiza

It’s OK.

It’s ok to fall down
to get up
to try again
to get it right
to try new things
to fall down
to get up
to rise above
to lead the trail
to stand out
to fall down
and fall down
and keep falling
then stand up
dust off
chin up
smile on
(or not)
but keep going.

-Cristina Nogueras (10.16.19)

New York, I love you.

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Sunset on Manhattan

Today marks what would have been my 7th New York Anniversary. 7 years ago, on a day like today, I landed with my one-way ticket to JFK hoping for the best. I had no clue what was in store for me.

I left New York this past January and have not been able to gather my thoughts of what this has meant to me. To those close to me, you know that New York was sucking the life out of me, slowly but surely. No need to get into details here, we all know New York is expensive and demanding. As it was getting close to my last day in the city, I started seeing things differently, you may call it “graduation goggles”. The crowded trains suddenly felt poetic, the hustle and bustle felt energizing and little by little I started to notice the things I was going to miss. 

I used to compare New York City with a drug, you know it’s bad for you but you keep coming back for more. I expressed some of these thoughts during my 5th New York Anniversary post and I think you can sense in my words that I was about ready to go. New York City lifts you up so high, you are soaring, but then it can drop you so hard, the impact is undeniably sobering. I used to think that it drained you but it still felt so good but now I think you feel that way because you’ve forgotten what normal feels like. I danced with so many of these emotions for years. 

Now, New York City feels like an old lover. I know it was not perfect, there were certainly hardships along the way, but I choose to remember the good times and respect the bad times as they have made me who I am today. I go back and rejoice, feeling lucky to have called it mine for however long it lasted. Sure, there are many things I miss and maybe will always miss, but that’s ok. 

Thank you, New York. I believe there is strength in being able to thank someone, something, anything for the good it did, in spite of all the bad. A kind of broken beauty that requires patience and wisdom to be appreciated.

New York, I will always love you. 

Valuing Your Coveted Attention in an Overloaded World

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Some people hate advertising and all it entails – intense targeting, invasion of privacy, lack of transparency, etc. Add in the layer of the modern social media landscape and it all starts to blow up out of proportion, it is believed that the average person is hit with over 4,000 ads in a DAY. As a consumer on the receiving end, it can be exhausting, confusing and just straight up overwhelming. Truth is, advertising is not going anywhere, it will just keep evolving. People were complaining about commercials invading their TV time, now you scroll through Instagram and you get instantly targeted. Business is not going anywhere, people will always find ways to reach the people they think they need to reach.

Personally, I don’t mind ads (targeted or not) because either: 1. I’ve found information or products of value through them or, 2. I work in the industry and understand that people (and brands) need to make a living.

Attention is the new currency and in a world of overload, you either embrace it with control or get trampled. With over 250,000 people (in the US only) working on the marketing industry, it’s not realistic to assume we can all live unplugged lives and honestly, even if you are not in marketing, there’s too much happening online that unplugging yourself will likely affect your chances of success.

It all comes down to intention. If you choose to spend your time on social media (or the internet, for that matter) be more intentional and avoid mindless scrolling. Clean your feed from things that don’t bring value, respect your time and attention and treat it with the value it deserves.

Cristina Nogueras Marketing Clean your feed from things that don’t bring value, respect your time and attention and treat it with the value it deserves.

  • Your email address is a precious gem – Treat it like one! Brands are hungry for it so only give it away when it matters. Be mindful of where you subscribe and utilize it to your advantage.
  • Take control of your feed – You have two options: you either engage with the content you enjoy so you get more pleasant/useful things in your feed or you visit your feed less. Also, be intentional with who you follow as that will affect what kind of advertising you are being served.
  • If you know ads are inevitable, use them to your advantage – Looking to buy a dress for an upcoming event? Engage with any brand that sells dresses and soon you will start to see other brands flow in with other considerations and potentially, even some discounts. Let ads help you with something you already know you need because, why not? The added layer and disclaimer to this is to be smart about what you get thrown your way and learn to make your own calls.

Use advertising as a guide and starting point to further educate yourself on the matter. Sure, buying a dress might be a pretty straight-forward purchase for most people but as you get into products and services related to health, wellness, finance, etc. you have to be your best defendant. Disclosure is key – I am looking at you influencers who never disclose! – deceiving is ALWAYS wrong.

Cristina Nogueras Marketing Just because a brand has money to target you with beautiful advertising doesn’t mean that the product or service behind it brings anything of value, or is even safe.

Just because a brand has money to target you with beautiful advertising doesn’t mean that the product or service behind it brings anything of value, or is even safe. I could go on forever on that, but I will not. 🙂

If you want to try and live a successful, disconnected life, by all means, go for it! You are my true hero. But if you are like me and can’t really do it, that’s cool too, let’s help the industry and ourselves by setting better standards, protecting our attention and only “selling” it for true value.

Photo by Andreea Ch from Pexels

Real Talk: What’s been going on over here

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I don’t really usually call myself a blogger, even though I have this blog and have had blogs since 2010. I do like to think of myself as some sort of writer. I write daily as part of my job, I write as part of my personal life. Writing gives me fuel in a way not many things do.

I started this blog in 2013 as a creative outlet to let my thoughts develop into further pieces to express all things typical for a 23-year-old living in New York City – hope, frustration, love and hunger. As the last 6 years have gone by, a LOT has changed. Many intentional changes but also many life changes that happen unconsciously, subtly but surely and leave you reconsidering perspectives.

One of my biggest frustrations in the last few years has been not having more time to write. I would complain that I didn’t have enough time, but then when I did have the time I was too tired to do anything and then I would blame myself for not writing. I kept beating myself up as I looked at others embracing and fulfilling their writing wishes with less than average ideas, when I felt I could too contribute to the wonderful world of words – if I only had the time or energy.

Life happens. We can sit, look back and think of all the ways we could have done it differently but that is only useful if you plan on implementing that in any way to your future. Otherwise, what’s the point? People keep telling myself I am too hard on myself and honestly half of the time (or more) I don’t see it. It’s not easy for me to recognize this but hey, it’s a process and I am ok with that.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I’ve missed writing and know that I am not perfect but I still want to continue to share pieces of me and my thoughts to whoever wants to enjoy them. Sure, it’s great when many people read what you have to say, but I think that at times it is just as empowering to combine beautiful words, make them yours, surrender them the universe, and see what happens.

I’ve come back to this blog after various unintentional hiatuses but never acknowledged them to protect myself in case I slipped away again… but not this time. I am putting it out to the universe because I know it’s something that is important to me and as such, it deserves the safety of accountability any other big task receives. Still, you don’t always need a plan or strategy. That’s the beauty of writing, you can just let it flow and let it refresh you in ways you probably weren’t even aware that you needed.

 

[Thailand] Best Stay of My Life

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There’s traveling. Then there’s traveling for your honeymoon.

Your heart is still full of wedding joy, eager to embrace whatever comes, thirsty for adventures. There are no limitations from the body, mind or even your wallet. With the excuse of “once in a lifetime” we say yes to everything that ignites a sense of passion for this amazing world we live in.

During our Thailand honeymoon, we decided to stay at the Anantara Mai Khao Phuket Villas during our stay in Phuket and let me tell you, we were absolutely blown away. Never in my sweet life had I stayed in a place like this. We had our own private villa with a private pool, outdoor shower, lagoon cabana and excellent service. I will let the photos speak for themselves.

Anantara Mai Khao Phuket Villas - Cristina Nogueras - Beaches and Brie - Phuket Thailand

Anantara Mai Khao Phuket Villas - Cristina Nogueras - Beaches and Brie - Phuket Thailand

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Anantara Mai Khao Phuket Villas - Cristina Nogueras - Beaches and Brie - Phuket Thailand

I know Puerto Rico is my paradise, but this place was out of this world. Outside of our villa, the views were not that bad either, including sunset cocktails up on a tree house. Every detail here was taken care of, from lighting up torches before the sunset to welcome drinks by the water so you don’t even have to sweat your check-in process.

Anantara Mai Khao Phuket Villas - Cristina Nogueras - Beaches and Brie - Phuket Thailand

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Anantara Mai Khao Phuket Villas - Cristina Nogueras - Beaches and Brie - Phuket Thailand

Anantara Mai Khao Phuket Villas - Cristina Nogueras - Beaches and Brie - Phuket Thailand

Anantara Mai Khao Phuket Villas - Cristina Nogueras - Beaches and Brie - Phuket Thailand

Forget about work hard, play hard.

Work hard, relax harder.

5 Year New York Anniversary

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This week marks my five year getting-a-one-way-ticket-to-new-york-and-getting-my-first-job anniversary. This is pretty big for me, not only is five one of my favorite numbers but now I can also say that I’ve been in New York City for half a decade. That may not be much for some people, but for me, it’s an accomplishment that makes me feel proud of my strengths… and even my weaknesses.

You see, New York City is a drug. You say it’s just for a little while, you know it’s bad for you, but decide it’s worth it for those glorious moments. It hurts you, it brings you down, yet you can’t get enough of it. You know you are ruined for life because nowhere else will be New York. People tell you it’s bad for you and at certain points, you believe them. But then, something amazing happens that keeps you tangled within the vines of this concrete jungle. 

When I was younger and addicted to Nicholas Sparks and Harlequin Romance (Yes, I am ashamed) I had this vision of moving to New York City, becoming a writer and meeting a handsome man as he accidentally grabbed my coffee at the Starbucks I would go to write my latest novel. Ridiculous, right? I didn’t even drink coffee back then. Also, who writes a novel at Starbucks? That’s what those cute little independent coffee shops are for.

Still, New York always seemed magical to me and although I never realized it, I always knew I wanted to end up here. Did I imagine this dirty, messy reality that is Manhattan? Not quite, but even beyond the smelly street corners and the questionable characters, I have been able to find magic in New York. Sometimes in way of a kind stranger (yes, they have those here) or a delicious, Instagram-worthy meal.

I can feel the conflicting emotions within me just as I write this post. Half of me is swaying away in a whimsical fairytale praising this city for the dreams it inspires and the other half is banging her head against the wall, wondering why am I still here. New York can be cruel, it’s raw and it doesn’t ask for forgiveness. It makes you strong by necessity and you also immediately forget how to walk slowly. There is no explanation, it just happens. There is no slow here. There is also no stopping. There’s just going and going and going and going. 

Five years. I’m still here. 🙂

Thank you, New York, for making me a fighter even when I am not even aware of what the fight is all about.

If You Like Piña Coladas

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How did it get to be 2016 already? I’ve been MIA, I know, all for good reasons though. I’m excited to be sharing some things about my blog and my life, just bare with me! 

In the meantime, please enjoy this photo of a piña colada that I enjoyed during my time in Puerto Rico earlier this month. Ahh, to be sipping frozen drinks by the beach. Those were the days. Also, you can always catch me on Instagram, of course.

¡Feliz Navidad!

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Whether you are on top of a snowy mountain or basking in the Caribbean sun, I hope you are all happy and surrounded by loved ones. That’s what it’s all about, right? 

Focus on what you have today and cherish it. Take a moment to let those far away know you are thinking of them. Enjoy every second, even if you are in your pj’s watching tacky Christmas movies. There’s no place for hate today, let’s keep that living on. 

Happy Holidays!!