Dear Doctors & Med Schools, I Have Something to Say

Setting: Walgreens prescription counter

I hand the technician my prescriptions and she laughs. Yup, she laughs. I ask what’s wrong.

Technician: “You’re going to have to give me a moment, I don’t know what any of these say.”

The magic is dead.

All my life I have believed this magic tale of technicians and overall medicine people having this special power to read a doctor’s handwriting. All my life I had trusted them to know what magic jelly beans I was putting into my mouth.

Lies.

What’s the point then? Why can’t doctors write clear? My theory for the secret code of the world of medicine is dead, obviously. So what’s the deal?

Thank goodness I’m not dying or anything (Although this morning when my ears and eyes were swollen I swore I was, you know, typical Thursday morning).

I would like to petition all med schools to update their curriculum with a new simple little course called: Calligraphy, the art of making letters understood by the magic jelly beans dispensers.

So yeah, here I sit at Walgreens. Waiting to be called and be given God knows what. I think I need a new nail polish… and some other five things that I surely don’t need but will purchase on my wait out.

Being Sick Sucks.

That’s really all I have to say. It makes you feel miserable in so many different levels that you end up pitying yourself and feeling crappy about it, over and over again.

What’s best? Being sick during what people have been calling the #PolarVortex aka freezing temperatures that bring tears to your eyes… and freezes them.

It’s like the world saw me all determined ready to tackle my new year’s resolutions and said: “Hold on buddy, you are not doing anything”. I’ve been to the doctor more times that I’ve been to the gym; I’ve been to the doctor once. Pretty skies and cool pictures to upload? I have a selfie showing me all wrapped up on my way to pick up my medicines, does that count? Try out new recipes and baking challenges? I microwaved some chicken noodle soup last week and my medicine tastes like a questionable piece of cake.

Needless to say 2014 has been awesome so far; don’t let me go all bitter on you right now. Nobody likes a hater; I’m just putting it out there to see if somebody can pick it up and take this plague away from me. Like far away, past Long Island.