We’re Not Perfect

We’re mere strings hanging from the ceiling,

cracked crystals spreading out the light,

in multi colored pieces that only shine at night.

We’re fragments of dust, as heavy as paper.

We’re flying around, but it’s wind that propels us.

Twisting in the air with no clear vision.

Hearing different beats but smiling in unison.

We’re grains of sand filtering through the cracks,

pieces of yesterday sprinkled with hope,

forgotten in a corner and forever lost.

We’re waves that come crashing ashore,

the waves that move more than just water along.

We crash and we fall, we refresh it all.

We are colored feathers moving to a beat,

surrounded by fragments of what we could be.

We are drops of the universe, surrounded by heat,

running through the stream, aimless down the street.

We’re not perfect, we’re far from it.

 

By Cristina Nogueras © 2013

Hurricane Sandy, One Year Later

“It can’t be that bad, it won’t be that bad. It’s gonna be ok, It has to be ok.”

These were the types of thoughts that were running through my mind on that ferry ride from Manhattan to Hoboken that 31 of October of 2012.

A year ago today, Hurricane Sandy hit New Jersey. As Wikipedia puts it, “was the deadliest and most destructive hurricane of the 2012 Atlantic hurricane season, as well as the second-costliest hurricane in United States history.” I live in Hoboken, one of the areas affected by the hurricane.

It was Halloween weekend, nobody cared there was a super storm coming our way. People went out, football games went on and life seemed to go on normally without any bigger concerns than halloween costume choices. Then the red flags start going up and as the natural freak out person that I am, I start panicking when my landlord mentions that I might be getting “a little bit” of water into my room. You need to realize that my room was located in the basement of my apartment. I proceeded to take out half of my room into the kitchen (higher than my room) and elevated my bed with plastic flower pots because there was nothing better I could get at the hardware store.

Both New Jersey and New York started evacuating plans the day before the storm and one of my good friends welcomed me into her Upper East home. Sandy came, Sandy left… I did not feel a thing. We did not lose power and although it rained, it was nothing compared to what I was seeing in the news.

An idea of what I was watching in the news - Image from http://www.outsideonline.com/blog/outdoor-adventure/hurricane-sandy-liveblog.html

An idea of what I was watching in the news, this is the train I take to work every morning – Image from http://www.outsideonline.com/blog/outdoor-adventure/hurricane-sandy-liveblog.html

“My room flooded. No way it could have not flooded.”

With every single footage shown of Hoboken, I lost a little drop of hope.

There was no way I could reach Hoboken from Manhattan. No trains, no buses, no nothing. Then the ferries started to work and me and my roommate found ourselves going against the flow of people that were abandoning Hoboken to seek shelter in upper Manhattan. Red flag.

I obviously got the ferry route wrong so we ended up in Weehaken (north of Hoboken) and we had no choice but to walk all the way to our apartment (about 25 minutes).

What a sight.

It really felt like something taken out of a post-apocalyptic movie. I saw people draining their houses, furniture floating around, and the look on their faces was a deep mixture of hope and despair, as little sense as that makes.

When I arrived to my apartment the stench gave it away. I went down the stairs to my room and evidently, everything in my room was ruined. The bed had collapsed and everything I had raised had fallen to the floor. With the electricity being gone, I faced a dark and stinking room… I broke down. I remember sitting in the kitchen floor and crying because I did not know what to do. It’s interesting to see how easily humans lose perspective. I had seen complete houses crumbled and flooded while I walked to my apartment, but at that moment all I could see was my loss.

My roommate truly helped me through. She did not hesitate, started making things better and kept telling me that it was going to be alright. It’s amazing what that can do, just to have someone tell you that something is going to be alright, even when they might not be so sure about it themselves. I am thankful of all the network of people that were quickly activated upon my request for help. I had lost all my furniture, some of my clothes and all of my shoes (I know, shoes!).

Now that I’m actually sitting down and writing about this, it doesn’t sound as bad as it felt. I am beyond thankful about all the help I received from everyone in my life. From coworkers to friends, everyone was there for me and that was worth more than what I had lost. I remember someone told me “It’s all material stuff”. It really was.

Sure, it was no peaches and cream. I had no bedroom for over a month, but then I remembered the faces I saw walking down to my apartment that day and I realized how blessed I was. I see the pictures of the damage across the tri-state area and I know that what I suffered was nothing compared to those who lost their homes and even their loved ones.

“Stronger than the storm”

Some may find it cheesy, but that’s really what it’s all about. Being stronger than the storm and being able to dance in the rain, or being able to jump and clap your hands around, I know not everyone is a good dancer so whatever rocks your socks.

 

Butterflies don’t live that long

Growing up is tough.

You need to improvise every single day. There’s no instruction manual, no chicken soup for the soul… it’s all ramen. It’s like you know what you need to do, what the right path is, but the process of realizing it and coming to terms with it is a whole different story.

It’s easy to lose perspective or lose sight of the road when there are so many distractions around you, so many other lives around you happening simultaneously. It can be scary, and I’m not saying that just because it’s almost Halloween.

You learn to smile and talk to people, lives connect and your network of people grows every day. But at the end of the day, who’s there for you? Who will come help you kill an unidentified bug at your apartment, who will help you choose that gift you can’t decide on, who will happily receive all of your careless selfies, who will answer the phone when stress overwhelms you?

As we grow up we become more like social butterflies, we fly around all colorful meeting people all over. But think about it, butterflies don’t live that long.

Who’s gonna be there at the end of the day?  

It’s the little things…

photo (2)

because flowers are not necessary but always bring a smile 

because you remember the little things that matter

because you keep finding ways to make me smile…

The thrill of the ride: “Toto, I have a feeling I’m not 10 anymore”

sixflags

Maybe I’m getting old.

I know, I’m being ridiculous, I’m only 23 years old. The best years are yet to come, right? That’s what people keep saying so I’m gonna hold on to that.

Last weekend I visited Six Flags Great Adventure and after about five years, I got back on a roller coaster. Maybe it was that the first roller coaster I chose was a little weird since you had to stand throughout the ride or maybe it was that I’m getting old… but it was NOT pleasant. I kept feeling pain in my back, I was anxious and I thought I was going to die. I kept making up scenarios on my head of my safety bar being released and me jetting out to the sky and landing flat on my face.

What is wrong with me?

Not that I was this fearless little girl before, by no means. You are talking to the girl that used to be scared of electrical stairs, believe me there’s a story behind it, I had my reasons. But at least before I would think less of the consequences and focus more on the thrill of the ride.

Now, if you are worrying about me thinking that this poor young lady threw away her money at Six Flags, don’t you worry child, I had a blast. I made a little mantra telling myself that it was going to be alright, that if everyone else was doing it, why couldn’t I? I also released all of my worries and enjoyed the ride for what it was… a thrill.

I think riding roller coasters should be a form of therapy. You can scream without being judged (well, at least that’s what I want to believe), you can let go and enjoy the thrill without worrying about anything else because for that short period of time, you are suspended into the air, part of a wave and you don’t need to control anything… you can be free.

Sounds amazing and liberating right? It is, until you get out and see your picture on the screen and notice you looked more like a frightful chicken than a human being.

Yes, I Get Excited For Books

allegiant

Call it whatever you want to call it, but I love the feeling of getting a new book in the mail, especially a book that I’ve been waiting to read for a long time.

Allegiant, the third book on the Divergent series by Veronica Roth, was released today.

It’s the first time in my life I read a book the day it was released and let me tell you, the feeling is pretty sweet.

I have a Kindle and it’s useful when I travel, but nothing beats the wonderfulness of holding a brand new book in your hands and knowing that the rest of the world is also reading it for the first time with you, today.

If you are into the whole young adult fiction genre and enjoyed the Hunger Games series, you definitely should start reading the Divergent series. You can thank me later.

Sometimes, I Bake

Last year, my friend Lindsay and I won our office holiday bake-off under the creativity category. Pretty sweet little reindeer cookies, if you ask me.

This is how the cookies looked at the recipe website…

 

This is how our cookies turned out. Not that bad, considering I owned an android camera at the time.

reindeer cookies

2012 Winners in the creative category – Cristina Nogueras ©

This year, when my office announced we would be having another bake-off to celebrate National Dessert Day (which by the way, it’s a thing) I knew I had to retain my title as the creative cook. My coworker Lina and I decided to team up and get creative.

Mind you, this comes from the girl that knows how to cook, however, limits herself to the same five basic recipes. I have big ideas in my head, but they always somehow end up as some variation of chicken, rice and beans.

I knew flavor was not going to be my strength, so we went for creativity. Thanks to the wonder that is Pinterest and the many amazing and creative human beings out  there, I found a twist-off to my favorite childhood dessert: Tierrita Dulce.

photo


Rest in Bliss Vanilla Pudding – Photo & Edits Cristina Nogueras ©

I took some creative license rights and decided to call our creation: Rest in Bliss. I know, I’m no artist, but I’m really humbly proud of the results.

Plus, guess what?

WE WON!

Yes, that’s right, this girl over here is the current two-strike undefeated baking champion! (May I say we did not even have to technically bake anything?)

What’s the recipe for success? We literally followed the instructions on the Jell-O vanilla pudding box and added food coloring. Then we crushed a bag of cream-less Oreos and added layers of Oreos to the bottom and top of the cups. I know, rocket science. We added gummy worms to give it the Halloween look and Lina went all out with the frosting drawings in the vanilla wafer cookies.

Besides bragging rights and high-fives (which are always welcomed), we also received a nice bottle of Aviation Gin! Thinking of going classy and trying out some nice cocktails soon.

Desserts & cocktails? Not bad, right?

aviation

Cristina Nogueras ©